Darrian Part Four: Than To Receive
by HazelTree019
Summary: After defeating the archdemon, Darrian finds solace in Zevran's arms. A Dragon Age: Origins piece. Darrian male PC elf /Zevran. "Darrian" is the first series. There will also be a "Zevran" series, designed to be read *after* this one. Disclaimer: All characters, places etc. belong to Bioware except Darrian who is all mine


Light rain fell on my head as I hurried across the damp grass. It was all over. The archdemon was dead. And I wasn't; in fact, miraculously, we had all survived, even if not intact. Sten had a chunk missing from his leg, Alistair had broken three ribs and we were all covered in bruises, cuts and burns. Oghren had lost most of his beard to the flames. But we were alive.

Our party had separated and I doubted I would see everyone again. Oghren had gone to find Felsi; Sten had departed for his homeland having atoned for his crimes and Wynne was fading fast. She'd decided to stay on at court but I didn't think she would be there for too long. When I announced my plans to keep travelling, Alistair and Leliana had fiercely maintained that they were not to be left behind. I thought it wise on Alistair's part – I didn't quite trust Anora to allow Alistair to live if he stayed in Denerim. Zevran, of course, was already coming.

Morrigan had left sometime yesterday, although no-one seemed to know exactly when. She hadn't wanted anyone else to know what she offered me, but I had flatly refused to consider accepting until she caved in and let me speak to Zev first. When I got to his room, I hadn't known what to say. I stood in the doorway, hidden in shadow. He already knew I was there and he watched me cautiously as I took two slow steps forward, fingers twisting the hem of my shirt.  
"What…did they say?"  
I opened my mouth but couldn't answer. He trod towards me, placing a slender hand on my arm. He took my chin and lifted it to look into my eyes.  
"Darrian? What is it?"  
I grabbed hold of him, pulling him to me and burying my face in his neck. His arms wrapped round me and a hand cradled the back of my head.  
"If you came to me, you surely wish to tell me what is wrong, no?" He paused, and murmured, "Please tell me."  
Haltingly, I told him about the Grey Wardens: why it had to be one of us who killed the archdemon.  
"Morrigan thinks that if-"  
I stopped. His hold on me tightened and his breath was shaky.  
"If what, my love?"  
I gripped the back of his shirt and he stroked my head, a low purring in his throat.  
"She says if I give her a child it might be a way out. Or it might not."  
He pressed his cheek against my forehead, swallowing, his fingers still combing through my hair. After a minute, he spoke.  
"You must do it, Darrian." He turned his head and kissed my cheekbone softly. "When everything here is finished, I am taking you to Antiva. You need to rest and I think you will like it there. I will have to avoid the Crows, obviously, but that should not be too difficult." He sighed, and the pain in his voice was thinly disguised. "You deserve the chance to live the rest of your life in peace. If there is anything that can help you to survive this, you must do it."  
"Zev…" My voice cracked and I swallowed, trying to control the tremor in my hands. "I don't know how."  
He gently pulled back from my grasp just enough to press his lips to mine. He was smiling slightly, despite himself, and he moved his mouth to my ear to whisper,  
"Just think of me."  
So I did. Compared to Zevran it was clumsy, felt unnatural, and I was glad when it was over.

Now, once again, we were in camp. It was strange with so few of us and we were all subdued, turning in early. I missed Morrigan's barbed jibes, Oghren's drunken bawling, but there was a bright side, and it shone fiercely through the darkest of emotions. I could finally spend some quality time with Zevran. When the various rustlings and footsteps had died away, I slipped back out of my tent. Hunter, our Mabari, lifted his head curiously as I passed and I ruffled him briefly behind the ears.  
"Zev?"  
"Come in, my love."

I pulled the flap open and stepped inside. I raised an eyebrow – I'd never been inside his tent before and I was greeted by the sight of what seemed to be dozens of weapons, glittering from every side. He had everything from an elegant Antivan longbow to the tiny throwing stars he was so proficient with. A curved elven dagger caught my eye and I ran my hand lightly over the hilt.  
"One of my first."  
He was lying on the bedroll watching me, propped up on his elbows. He was only wearing a shirt, bare legs stretched out comfortably in front of him, ankles crossed.  
"Beautiful."  
"Isn't she?"  
I picked her up carefully, the metal cold in my hand. He'd always treated his weapons with an affection that bordered on motherly, and this one was no exception. The blade had been sharpened to a deadly point and gleamed in the light from a single candle that burned in the corner.

I crept up Zevran's body, holding myself over him, pressing her against his throat. He tilted his head back, exposing his neck.  
"How many has she killed?"  
"That I do not know. Many."  
He didn't move as I drew her softly across his skin, his almond eyes watching steadily. I set her to one side and looked at him. Then I dropped my head and kissed him fiercely. Our tongues pushed into each other's mouths, deep and longing.  
"I can't tell you how much I've needed this."  
"There is no need, I have as well."

I hadn't seen him after the battle. When I struck the final blow to the archdemon I had been thrown across the roof, smashing my head against the wall. I was told afterwards that Zev had stayed by my side until the rest of the troops had managed to find us. We were carried back to the palace where I was revived and our wounds were treated. We were bathed and dressed in fine clothes, and the celebrations had begun. I spent hours talking to friends, family, people I'd never met before. I was exhausted and my head ached; I had found myself dropping out of conversations, unable to concentrate. The only person I wanted to see was Zevran, but we were separated by the crowds. At one point I thought I heard his voice calling my name and I turned, forcing my way through trying to find him, but couldn't. My heart sank and I glanced around, unfamiliar faces staring back. We hadn't had much time together recently, and with thoughts of the dragon looming over everyone, we'd not been able to share much more than a last, desperate kiss before the fight began. I craved him, needing to feel his strong, reassuring presence next to me. And now, at last, I had him.

He had found the buttons on my shirt and was undoing them. It fell open and he ran both hands up my chest. With a last kiss I moved away from his wanting fingers gently, and he let out a small whine. I pulled my boots off quickly and threw them into the corner, my shirt following, and I draped myself back over him so we weren't quite touching. His eyes roved across me, fixing on the leather thong that hung from my neck. His hand reached out to touch the pendant then he threaded long fingers through the cord, using it to pull me down to him, his head lifting to meet mine. His other hand held my waist as we kissed, squeezing gently. I sat back so he could push himself up and I undid his shirt. When he shrugged it off I got my first look at the scorch mark on his shoulder.  
"Oh, Zev…"  
I moved my hand across it, taking care to be gentle, but he still twitched and grimaced when my finger brushed against raw skin.  
"I'm so sorry."  
He laid a cool hand on my cheek.  
"Do not be. I was honoured that you asked me to fight by your side, and would gladly have suffered far more than this. And now that I have shown you mine, you must show me yours, I think."

Gazing steadily into his eyes I took hold of his hand, sliding it under my skirt to rest on my thigh.  
"It's…there are others."  
I couldn't show him yet. He glanced down and his lips parted, sympathy flickering in his eyes at the sight of the livid burn.  
"Do you still want to? I have no wish to hurt you."  
"They don't really hurt, the mages did something to them. Besides, it'd take more than that to stop me. Unless your shoulder…?"  
He smiled.  
"It could never hurt that much."  
"Are you sure?"

In answer, he grabbed hold of me, pulling me to him in a fierce, _needing_ embrace. We held each other tightly, bare chest on bare chest, feeling each other's bodies against our own. Finally able to take in the knowledge that we had both survived, despite everything. Together. I inhaled, breathing in his familiar scent of leather and warm spices, seeking the comfort it always provided.  
"I didn't lose you," I murmured. He didn't speak, but his grip on me tightened.

He pulled me with him as he laid back and I nuzzled into his neck, kissing and nipping. I moved to his ear and ran my tongue up its edge, briefly gripping the point between my teeth. A quiet groan escaped his lips. His hands roamed over my body, massaging gently. His touch rubbed away at the aches in my muscles, the leftover worry and tension, and I felt myself relaxing for the first time in days.  
"Does that feel good?" he whispered.  
"Mmm…"  
Without warning he flipped me over, my back hitting the bed. I looked up into his face, blond hair falling around me. Desire sparked in his eyes.  
"Let me make it better."  
He lowered his head to my chest, his arm muscles rippling, and licked his way up my neck. Then he sat up, running his hands down my body, examining it closely. He traced the marks from the battle, then drew a finger along each rib in turn, so lightly that it tickled and I twitched, smiling.  
"You are getting skinny, my love. You should look after yourself more carefully."  
"Well I have been getting a lot of exercise recently."  
He smiled seductively.  
"My dear Darrian, I do hope you've saved enough energy for a little more? Unless, of course, my Warden would rather just sleep tonight…?"  
I didn't care how tired I was, how much I ached. I wanted him. I bit my lip, letting it slip out slowly as I smiled.  
"Only a little more?"

His expression was sly as he pushed himself backwards down the bed. He lightly brushed the insides of my thighs, making my stomach tighten. Undoing my belt, he tugged off the leather skirt. His face lit up when he saw the size of my reaction and I grinned as a tongue darted across his lips, anticipation glinting in his eyes. He leant forward, placing a soft, deliberate kiss inside my right thigh, at a point near the top. So near, in fact, that his hair stroked my length and I sighed gently. His breath whispered across my shaft, lips and tongue following. He made himself more comfortable, clearly planning to take his time. As he shifted I noticed a large, painful-looking gash on the back of his calf and I felt a sharp twinge of guilt. He had done so much for me, and he was asking nothing in return. That did not mean I wasn't going to give it.  
"Wait."  
He looked up, confused.  
"Turn round."  
He frowned.  
"What?"  
"Face the other way."  
His almond eyes widened in surprise, suddenly understanding what I was offering.  
"Are you suggesting…"  
"Yes, I am. And yes, I'm sure."

I slid further down the bedroll to give him room while he knelt at my head. Nerves flickered at my stomach but I ignored them. This was Zevran – he would look after me. He laid himself across me, resting his weight on his knees and elbows before he pressed a reassuring kiss to my thigh. I brushed my hand up between us, stroking from his chest to his groin and he shivered. I twitched when his lips touched my erection, sparks flying across my skin and I nibbled in return, feeling his purr rumble through me. I took my lead from him, licking and suckling and I could feel him tensing above me. A tongue trailed along my shaft and I whimpered in pleasure, grasping his backside and digging my nails into the firm flesh. Zev moaned, shoulders sagging. My hips writhed and he held me down with an arm. I moaned at the feel of him in my mouth, the muscle under my fingers…it felt so good, _too_ good… Not a single sound of complaint passed his lips as I let him slide from my mouth, pressing my forehead to his thigh with a guttural groan. It was too much, I couldn't do it, not while he was…oh, _Maker_. My fingers were gripping onto him, trying to withstand the sheer ecstasy that raged through my shivering body as my hips strained against his hold. Then a single drop of heat fell from my assassin's solid length, splashing onto my chest. I felt the growl deep in my throat.

"I do hope you are not holding back on me, my love."  
I let my lips brush over his skin as I spoke. He gasped, surprised, and his elbow slipped, forcing me further down his throat as he dropped. Then I grunted as he swallowed in revenge, and what seemed to be a soft laugh flickered across my leg. Ohhh, I _wanted_ him. I flexed my fingers, renewing my grip on him and pulling my head up, taking him deeper with a moan of pleasure. I wanted to feel him react, to taste it. I drew up a knee, digging my heel into the bedding and he rubbed his head on my thigh. He began thrusting and his arm was no longer enough to stop me doing the same. We both cried out, shuddering. He dropped his back as I arched mine, pressing ourselves together in pleasure. His slender body went limp, knees giving way. Aftershocks were ricocheting through me, random muscles tensing, stomach jolting.

After a few moments his breathing slowed and he set about cleaning me up, licking and swallowing. Enjoying the sensation I closed my eyes, then returned the favour, making him purr. He rolled off of me and turned swiftly, pinning me down, one hand either side of my head. His almond eyes were alive with lust.

"There was no need for you to do that."  
I put a finger to his lips.  
"Yes there was. _I_ needed to. I wanted to."  
He put his mouth round my finger, lavishing it with his tongue and I smiled. He suckled for a moment then let go and kissed me fiercely, twisting his hand into my hair. I put my arms round him, pulling him closer, wanting to feel as much of him as I could. He obliged happily, his slight weight pressing onto me, warm and solid. And sexy. My desire for him reached a new peak and I just couldn't take it anymore.  
"Please, Zev."  
His grin was wicked.  
"Please…what?"  
"You know perfectly well."  
"Perhaps. But I should not like to get it wrong. I think maybe you should tell me, just to be sure, yes?"  
His hand trailed down to my groin and began to stroke, making me squirm. As he did so, he leant forward, his mouth hovering just above mine, just out of reach. I moaned longingly as I tried to kiss him, his breath flickering across my cheek.  
"Ohhh, you're cruel."  
A deep chuckle rumbled from his chest.  
"Yes," he murmured. "I am. So tell me what it is you want."  
His hand squeezed gently, slowly moving up and down. I bit my lip, my moan turning into a whine at his persistent touch. He opened his mouth a little and tilted his head as though about to kiss me, but didn't.  
"I want you to _screw _me!"  
It had come out much louder than I'd intended, and was tainted with desperation. His lips touched mine as he answered.  
"Good."

He found oil in his pack as I rolled over and he smoothed it in slowly, teasingly, making me wait for as long as he could.  
"Zev!"  
He laughed richly and stretched himself out on top of me, running his oiled hands across my shoulders and slipping them under my chest.  
"Your wish is my command."

I closed my eyes as he pushed into me, letting out a long, slow sigh. It felt so good to have him on top of me, inside me like this. He was moving carefully, and I could feel a slight shake in his breath. His mouth pressed into my shoulder with a soft growl of frustration and I suddenly realised how much he was struggling to hold back, how much he _wanted_ me.  
"I'm alright, do it."  
"You are…sure?" he managed.  
I nodded. He pushed deeper, faster, and I moaned in pleasure with him.

His rhythm was incredible and I rolled my hips against him, tipping my head back onto his shoulder. His lips and tongue worked at my neck, and then he bit me. The slight pain sent a wave of desire through me and I arced, groaning.  
"Ah, so you do like that, then."  
He sounded intrigued and I nodded, mumbling. The fingers on my chest flexed and he dug in his nails, purring in delight when I gasped and wriggled. He brushed the hair away from my neck, biting it as he slid his hand back underneath me. I reached up to hold the back of his head, keeping him there as he traced patterns with his tongue. His thrusts grew faster, sweat beading on his skin and the soft grunts next to my ear were louder. I moaned and shouted his name, hearing mine in reply. Zev was faster than me this time, yelling as he came, his heat filling me before spilling onto the blankets. But he didn't stop and I was right behind him.  
"Zevran!"

Still inside me, he rested on my back, nibbling my neck and rubbing my shoulders. I turned my head but couldn't quite reach, only catching the corner of his mouth. He needed no encouragement, kissing me tenderly.  
"You get better every time," he said.  
"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

He slid off, lying next to me and I rolled onto my side to face him.  
"When it comes to you, my dear, you could be truly awful and I would still love it. Fortunately for me, however, you seem to have something of a natural talent for sex. This, of course, makes it even better. A question still remains, however: how do I compare to our dear Morrigan?"  
I laughed.  
"Not feeling insecure, are we?"  
"I am simply curious."  
"Don't worry: she couldn't hold a candle to you."  
He grinned and I stroked his face.  
"I could never repay you for what you've done."  
"I would not expect you to."  
"But I can make sure you get what you deserve tonight." I propped myself up on one elbow.  
"I want to do something for you."  
He arched an eyebrow.  
"Oh? This sounds intriguing."  
"Is there any more oil?"  
He reached for his bag and pulled a handful of bottles from it. I smirked.  
"I thought there might be." Sitting up, I took one from him. "Roll over."

He did as I instructed, a slight grin playing about his face. He rested his chin on his hands as I opened the bottle and poured some into my palm. I looked at him for a moment, then slapped it onto his backside harder than was necessary.  
"Agh!"  
I sniggered.  
"Sorry, I couldn't resist."  
"You are sounding more like me every day."  
I leant over him and whispered in his ear.  
"You have a red hand mark, right here."  
He chuckled as I placed my hand on it.  
"However did you get it?"  
"Well, it could have been in that battle yesterday. Some of those genlocks can get very frisky."  
"You've been seeing darkspawn behind my back? I thought my assassin had better taste."  
"What can I say? It is something about their soulless eyes, and a bloodthirsty need to kill me as messily as they can. It gets me every time."

I laughed and started to rub the oil into his backside, my fingers lingering. I hadn't noticed just how tense he still was until he sighed and I felt the muscles begin to loosen at my touch. He shifted his shoulders a little and I rubbed further up, kneading at his back. He let out a soft, contented moan. This wasn't what I'd been planning, but that could wait. The sheer joy in that low moan was enough. I straddled his legs quietly, careful not to let mine touch him as I circled my thumbs over his back, working my way slowly up to his shoulders. I regarded the body stretched out in front of me as I kneaded, olive skin and tattoos rippling as he sighed again. It was a heady feeling; those strong muscles I was rubbing, that heat I could feel, were another's body. Were mine. He murmured my name drowsily. His neck and shoulders had loosened now, and I was fairly sure he would have fallen asleep if I'd carried on for much longer. But there was something I wanted to give him first.

I reached back to run slick fingers up the inside of his thigh and he mumbled quietly. I leant forward, holding myself on hands and knees above him, still not quite touching his prone body. I pressed my mouth between his shoulder blades then moved to his ear and murmured softly into it.  
"On your knees."  
I kissed his warm neck then knelt up and shifted backwards to give him room, oiling my length.  
"I do love it when you talk dirty."  
He pushed himself up, smirking slightly, muscles loose from my administrations. He still looked half-asleep.  
"It's not so much what comes out of my mouth, as what goes in." I nipped him on the ear as he laughed.  
"Hmm, promises…"  
I pressed myself to his back, my knees between his, and whispered,  
"You should know I always deliver on my promises."

He purred, nuzzling his cheek against mine. I ran a hand down his back, using it to guide myself in. I didn't push into him; instead I pulled him back onto me, taking his weight on my chest.  
"Ohhh…"  
I swept his hair over his shoulder to expose that neck and started to kiss it, nibbling as I slowly began to thrust. His lithe body was hot and tight around me, and I pressed my mouth into his neck with a quiet groan. I wasn't sure how used to this he was, how much he could take, so I moved carefully, scared I might hurt him. I used one hand to hold him to me, rubbing his chest, while the other trailed down to fondle his erection. I kept a slow, steady rhythm and he let his head drop back onto my shoulder, moaning quietly. I bit his ear and his eyes closed, lips parting.  
"Darrian…"

His back was beginning to arch, his hand gripped under my thigh and he groaned, mumbling under his breath. I was glad I could do something for him: he had relaxed into my hold, the only tension coming from pleasure. I rocked him gently and pushed deeper, moving my mouth back to his ear. I suckled at it, nipping the tip.  
"I love you Zevran," I whispered.

His hand reached out and pulled me to his mouth, his kiss passionate. I picked up the pace slightly, the familiar tingling growing in the pit of my stomach. I pulled him closer and squeezed my other hand more firmly, making him gasp and buck a little. My cheek touched his; one olive hand held me there, fingers gripping just slightly as he arched back against me. I felt him climax, shuddering under my hand as I did the same.  
"Ah, Darrian!"

I curled my arms round his waist and pressed my nose into his neck, breathing in his scent. He was stroking my cheek slowly and after a moment I pressed a soft kiss to his jaw. I held him for a while longer then eased myself out from under him. Lying down with me, he said,  
"It has been a time since anyone has done that for me. Usually it is the other way around."  
"You earned it."  
He smiled, his eyes roaming over my face.  
"Besides, I feel selfish if I let you do all the work."  
"Darrian, I like to do the work. It is fun to see you enjoying yourself and to know that I am doing that for you. And the better I perform, the better you enjoy it. But I cannot deny it is nice to let somebody else do it." He ran a finger down my cheek.  
"Mmm, it was good to see you relax. It's been a while."  
He inclined his head.  
"I am impressed – you were very good, my dear."  
"So were you. Something half of Ferelden must have realised, never mind the rest of camp."  
I had said the last out of habit and he smirked.  
"And why should we not celebrate a little? Alistair and Leliana knew perfectly well what it was we would be up to tonight given that we have just battled an archdemon and are both still breathing. If they did not wish to hear the results, they should have slept with their heads under the pillow."  
I snorted with laughter, imagining how Alistair must have cringed when he heard me telling Zev exactly what I wanted him to do.

"My love, those marks on your back…" He avoided my eyes, presumably hoping he wasn't about to upset me. "You know they will scar?"  
I nodded silently.  
"I know."  
There were three large claw marks across the lower half of my back: a present from the archdemon. They were deep, and while the mages' magic had rendered them numb for now, my recovery would be long and painful. In truth, it was unlikely that they would heal properly at all, and there were a hundred different problems they could cause me if they didn't.  
"I can heal them for you."  
I pulled away slightly to look into his eyes.  
"You can?"  
"There is a root called 'mausin'. It grows only in Antiva and is very rare. Essentially, it is a heal-all, but more potent than any herb or magic you Fereldans use. I always carry some. I have only a little, but it should be enough. Mausin never leaves a scar and heals perfectly within no more than a few days, but-" He stopped and I put a hand to his smooth cheek.  
"What is it?"  
"In order for it to work, it is made into a paste, which must be used to fill the wound completely." He looked at me. "I would have to open them again, my love."  
"Do it."  
"You are quite sure? The root itself is extremely painful, it will burn as though I have set it alight. Perhaps for days."  
I nodded.  
"Please. If you can. I can't feel them now, but the spells will wear off and I'll be in agony for days anyway." I dropped my gaze. "The mages said…they said that there was no guarantee they would heal at all, that I was lucky I could still walk. The archdemon nicked my spine, apparently. Even if it does heal, my back is ruined. I don't want to be scarred that way, I…" I flushed, knowing how odd it would sound. "I always liked my back."  
Zev looked at me and I avoided his eyes. I knew I shouldn't be bothered by another scar. I knew I should be grateful that we had won, that we hadn't sustained more long-term injuries, that both of us were alive at all, but a small part of me had withered at the knowledge that I wouldn't even be left whole physically. Zev took my chin and lifted it gently.  
"I will not stand idly by and watch you suffer, my love, and I could not bear to know that I could have helped when I did not. If you wish it, I will do this for you."  
"You don't mind using it on me? If you've only got-"  
He stopped my mouth with a firm kiss.  
"Do not talk that way, Darrian, of course I do not mind. You are worth all of it."  
"Then…please."  
"Tomorrow," he murmured. "I will heal you tomorrow."  
His hand traced the shape of my face and I kissed him tenderly.  
"Thank you."

"Zev, do you mind if I ask you something?"  
"Anything, my love."  
I shifted, getting more comfortable.  
"You knew that you were my first, and I'm curious. Who was yours?"  
"My first?"  
"Yeah." I looked up at him. "Was it a man or a woman?"  
"I have always been attracted to both but, like you, my first was a man. Although it was not a particularly pleasant experience, I am afraid."  
"Why not?"  
He hesitated.  
"Sorry, that was…you don't have to tell me. It's none of my business."  
"No, that is alright. I…want to tell someone. Well, _you_ to be precise."

I slipped a hand over his waist, trying to put him at his ease. There was strange look in his eyes as though it wasn't me he was seeing. I waited patiently until he was ready to talk.  
"He was a human nobleman who saw me on the street, and had a fancy for elven boys. He dragged me into an alley, told me he picked me because I was prettiest. He expected me to do whatever he wanted without complaint. I had little choice in the matter: he was much larger than I was, and he was rough. He did not take care of me. I…cannot describe the pain."  
I pulled him closer, a low rumble in my throat at the thought.  
"Didn't anyone do anything?"  
"I had fallen to the back of the group: nobody noticed I was not there. The Crow master who was with us came back when he realised I was missing, but it was all over by then, the man was long gone."  
He fell silent, gazing into the distance, and I stroked my thumb over his back.  
"How old were you?"  
He coloured, avoiding my eyes again.  
"I was eleven."  
_Eleven._ Horror twisted my stomach.  
"Zev…I didn't know. I'm so sorry."  
He smiled, his eyes focussing on me again. He reached forward to kiss my forehead.  
"I have never told anyone. Do not worry, my love. The past is behind us. All that matters now is that it is my Warden who beds me."  
"Just try getting rid of me."

He put an arm round me as I wriggled closer. I buried my face in his neck, his steady warmth was strong, calm and solidly, definitely there. We had won. We were together. My tent would stay empty tonight; I wouldn't bother putting it up tomorrow.


End file.
